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Redneck Olympics

• Doves released during opening ceremonies are promptly shot by the crowd and sold as concession snacks.
• In an amazing coincidence, every proposed Olympic venue turns out to be owned by the Governor.
• The big event is the 100m Sisterchase.
• Instead of shooting at boring targets, archers take aim at muskrats and ATF agents.
• Urine drug test transformed into "Distance Pissin Competition."
• Olympic Village replaced with Olympic Trailer Park.
• Awards of gold, silver and bronze medals replaced by award of gold, silver, and bronze teeth.
• Opening Ceremony is a Skynyrd tape and a trunk full of bottle rockets.
• Hometown favorites falter in gymnastics competitions due to all them extra toes.
• Two words: Billy Bobsledding.