The only difference between a taxman and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
-- Mark Twain

Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag.
-- Jay Leno

It's income tax time again. Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.
-- Dave Barry

The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away.
-- John S. Coleman

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
-- Will Rogers

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
-- Tom Lehrer

Earlier today, the White House released President Bush's tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq.
-- Conan O'Brien

The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes naturally, no one wants to live any other way.
-- Judith Martin

Why can't Americans do their own taxes? Because the federal Tax Code is out of control, that's why. It's gigantic and insanely complex, and it gets worse all the time. Nobody has ever read the whole thing. IRS workers are afraid to go into the same ROOM with it.
-- Dave Barry

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.
-- Art Buchwald