Un homme va chez son médecin: son testicule gauche est enflammé.
Le toubib l'examine et lui dit doucement:
"C'est une inflammation du testicule gauche. Ce n'est pas grave, je vous donne le téléphone d'un ami urologue…"
Mais le doc se trompe et lui donne le numéro de son avocat.
Le bonhomme prend un rendez vous et part voir le soi-disant spécialiste.
L'avocat lui demande:
"En quoi puis-je vous servir, Monsieur?"
Illico le malade baisse son pantalon et lui montre son testicule.
"Comme vous voyez docteur j'ai le testicule gauche enflammé."
L'avocat le regarde hébété. Après un silence il lui dit:
"Cher monsieur, excusez-moi mais ma spécialité, c'est le droit!"
Alors le malade s'énerve:
"Putain, c'est vraiment la merde ce pays: maintenant il y a un spécialiste pour chaque couille!"
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
"HAPPY THANKSGIVING !!"
